I seldom get nightmares. I have bad dreams, yeah, mostly to do with being stuck in the ground while my cat waltzes out the door into the big bad world (she's an indoor cat and I live in a place that's dangerous for small pets to be outside alone at night) or things that are upsetting or disturbing in the dream but not frightening when I wake up.

When I do have a real nightmare it's very rare, and it tends to be me being slightly awake and thinking there's some shadowy shape watching me. 
Like just now. I screamed a LOT. And once I realized I was awake I realized I was about to fall out of my bed. That wouldn't be that big a deal for most people, but my bedstead is very old and thus very high off of the ground. So that was scary too. And I'm all shaky and stuff. And Facebook is down so I can't talk to my friends from college who are no doubt up right now too. 

I was trying to do the right thing and go to sleep at a semi-decent hour. Now I don't want to go back to sleep. 

I'm gonna find something nice to watch. Then listen to an audiobook. And maybe sleep again. I'm so tired.

Well, this picture just made my day ..

http://tgwtgsecrets.tumblr.com/post/22114850384/there-needs-to-be-a-blog-dedicated-for-pictures

Excuse me while I daydream about snuggling up between those two ... also: *SQUEE*

Thank you to everyone who posted messages of support, outrage, and comfort earlier this month. That outpouring of comments got me through that mess. I don't know what I'd do without friends like you all, really, I don't. Those comments and messages made me cry and reaffirmed my faith in people and this fandom. I hope someday we all meet up at MAGFest, the cuddlepile will fill a room and won't stop all weekend. 

I didn't reply back right away because I wanted to let things settle, and also it's been the final weeks of college and I had 1) final projects 2) film shoots 3) packing and 4) not a lot of sleep happening. 

But it won't settle. Apparently someone, it's not clear if it's the same someone who screencapped my journal or not, is doing the same thing, over and over again. To the point where the Admin on Shit TGWTG Fans Say has stated that they will not be accepting screencaps from people's LJs. This is both good and bad, good in that the Admin isn't allowing that anymore, but bad in that someone is doing this to us. Not just me, US. And I quote:

"So to the person who is going around and capping stuff from LJ entries and submitting them…
FUCKING STOP IT!
Whatever vendetta you have against Secret Treehouse people, take it up with them not through a third party.
To any members of the Secret Treehouse that may be following this I suggest just trimming back your friendslist."

Well, that's ... really scary. And sad. Who has the time to root through journal entries, take screencaps, and try and submit them to a tumblr for the lolz? Couldn't they be using that time to watch TGWTG videos, go for a walk, clean their house, take a nap, watch TV, volunteer for charity, travel, work at a job/search for a new job, or something? I pity a person like that, who devotes their time to exploiting the fears of others and violates privacy and trust of complete strangers. Well, I also kind of hate them right now, but that's a personal thing. There's pity underneath that hatred, and confusion, and a little self-doubt.

Did I do something? Did I say something hurtful without realizing it? Is this somehow my fault? I'd like to say "no, no way, no how, they're just being a jackass" but now I'm doubtful.

Again, anonymous person who screencapped my journal: please, please, PLEASE message me. If I've somehow wronged you in the past, tell me what it was and I'll apologize. If it's some post I made that is truly hurtful or offensive in retrospect, I'll take it down. And then I will defriend you. And because you're screencapping other journals too, I'll have to let people know who you are so they can defriend you too. There will be no name-calling, no attacks, no nothing. I'll just post a little message here, or to the Secret Treehouse, people will de-friend you quietly, and that will be that.
You've had your fun, you've made me cry, you've undermined my trust in my flist, you've posted my journal to tumblr. Now do the right thing and end this.  

Annoying: Trying to remember the name of that one (tame) yaoi manga you bought via amazon years ago and felt like such a grownup reading secretly late at night and hid behind other books on the shelf so your mother would never, ever find it.

Frustrating: Failing to remember the name of that manga, and the manga that was being advertised in the back that you'd really like to buy now, please, if only you could remember the title.

Inspired: Remembering that the manga is under a pile of books in your room back home, and thinking about calling up your mom so she can tell you the title.

Awkward: Realizing that you can't do that because OH MY GOD MOM LOOKING AT YOUR (TAME, DOESN'T REALLY COUNT AS PORN AT ALL) PORN, THE SHAME, YOU CANNOT DEAL, SHE CANNOT SEE THE STUPID POORLY-WRITTEN PIRATE MANGA. IT IS ONE OF YOUR FEW SECRETS!

Embarrassing: Googling "Cowboy Indian Yaoi Manga" and sorting through dozens of non-helpful links. 

The Lesson: Don't leave your not really porn at all, honestly, it's pretty pathetic to be honest, there is much better stuff online, you WRITE much better stuff online, but the pictures are so pretty porn at home. Even if you think it'd be more embarrassing for your roommate to see it on your shelf, or a visiting friend seeing it. TAKE ALL THE DIRTY BOOKS WITH YOU TO COLLEGE. YOU DID WITH "A BEGINNGER'S GUIDE TO S&M" YOU SHOULD HAVE DONE THAT WITH THE SILLY YAOI MANGA TOO!

Why am I looking for yaoi manga now? I need to shower and sleep! 
Oh right, aforementioned roommate is awake doing late homework and listening to loud music. That's why you're putting off sleep. Time for shower and sleep: she'll get quiet or move to the hallway then. It's late enough to justify that.